Culver Monologue from The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts

From The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts by Arnold Bennett

male · comedic · 1:17 min

Is it Hildegarde? (TRANTO: How did you guess?) Well; first, I knew my daughter couldn't be the piffling lunatic who does your war cookery articles. Second, I asked myself: What reason has she for pretending to be that piffling lunatic? Third, I have an exceedingly high opinion of my daughter's brains. Fourth, she gave a funny start just now when I mentioned the idea of Sampson Straight going to the Tower. (TRANTO: Perhaps I ought to explain--) No you oughn't. There's no time. I simply wanted a bit of information. I've got it. Now I have a bit of information for you. I've been offered a place in this beautiful Honours List. Baronetcy! Me! I am put on the same high plane as Mr. James Brill, the unspeakable. The formal offer hasn't actually arrived--it's late; I expect the letter'll be here in the morning--but I know for a fact I'm in the List for a baronetcy.

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