The article was perfectly all right. It rattled off from beginning to end like a machine-gun, and must have caused enormous casualties. Only I thought Auntie Joe might be one of the casualties. I thought it might put her out of action as a hostess for a week or so. You see, for me to publish such an onslaught on new titles in the afternoon, and then attempt to dine with the latest countess the same night--and she my own aunt--well, it might be regarded as a bit--thick. So I'm confined to the house--this house as it happens. (HILDEGARDE: But you told John your people would take the article like meat and drink.) What if I did? John can't expect to discover the whole truth about everything at one go. He's found out it's a jolly strange world. That ought to satisfy him for to-day. Besides, he only asked me about my uncles. He said nothing about my uncles' wives. You know what women are--I mean wives. (HILDEGARDE: Oh, I do! Mother is a marvellous specimen.) I haven't told you the worst.

Tranto Monologue from The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts

Rehearse Tranto's monologue