Culver Monologue from The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts

From The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts by Arnold Bennett

male · sarcastic · 1:20 min

The Government has been in a very serious situation. (MRS: CULVER. You mean they're going to ask you to resign?) I wish they would! (MRS. CULVER: Arthur! Do please remember the country is at war.) Is it? So it is. You see, my pet, I remember such a lot of things. I remember that my brainy partner is counting khaki trousers in the Army clothing department. I remember that my other partner ought to be in a lunatic asylum, but isn't. I remember that my business is going to the dogs at a muzzle velocity of about five thousand feet a second. I remember that from mere snobbishness I work for the Government without a penny of salary, and that my sole reward is to be insulted and libelled by high-brow novelists who write for the press. Therefore you ought not to be startled if I secretly yearn to resign. However, I shall not be asked to resign. I said that the Government had been in a very serious situation. It was. But it will soon recover.

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