Waiter Monologue from You Never Can Tell

From You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw

male · comedic · 1:02 min

Not at all, sir. Very natural mistake, I'm sure, sir. I've often wished he was a potman, sir. Would have been off my hands ever so much sooner, sir. Salt at your elbow, sir. Yes, sir: had to support him until he was thirty-seven, sir. But doing well now, sir: very satisfactory indeed, sir. Nothing less than fifty guineas, sir. McCOMAS. Democracy, Crampton!--modern democracy! WAITER . No, sir, not democracy: only education, sir. Scholarships, sir. Cambridge Local, sir. Sidney Sussex College, sir. Stone ginger, miss? Right, miss. Very good thing for him, sir: he never had any turn for real work, sir.

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