Dogberry Monologue from Much Ado About Nothing

From Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

male · comedic · 1:05 min

First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable? (FIRST WATCH: Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.) Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God hath blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of Fortune; but to write and read comes by Nature. (SECOND WATCH: Both which, Master Constable,—) You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Prince’s name.

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