Monologue

Touchstone Monologue from As You Like It

From As You Like It by William Shakespeare

male · comedic · 1:14 min

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Upon a lie seven times removed—bear your body more seeming, Audrey—as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is called the “retort courteous”. If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself. This is called the “quip modest”. If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement. This is called the “reply churlish”. If again it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called the “reproof valiant”. If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie. This is called the “countercheck quarrelsome”, and so, to the “lie circumstantial”, and the “lie direct”.

About this piece

Touchstone humorously critiques the absurdity of social interactions and the complexities of communication through a series of witty retorts regarding a courtier's beard.

20s · joy · identity · humor · social commentary · communication

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