Monologue

Tarleton Monologue from Misalliance

From Misalliance by Bernard Shaw

male · comedic · 1:26 min

Nonsense! dont be selfish. Think how youve improved the other chaps. Look at the Spanish empire! Bad job for Spain, but splendid for South America. Look at what the Romans did for Britain! They burst up and had to clear out; but think of all they taught us! They were the making of us: I believe there was a Roman camp on Hindhead: I'll shew it to you tomorrow. Thats the good side of Imperialism: it's unselfish. I despise the Little Englanders: theyre always thinking about England. Smallminded. I'm for the Parliament of man, the federation of the world. Read Tennyson. (He settles down again). Then theres the great food question. (LORD SUMMERHAYS: Need we go into that this afternoon?) No; but I wish youd tell the Chickabiddy that the Jinghiskahns eat no end of toasted cheese, and that it's the secret of their amazing health and long life! (LORD SUMMERHAYS: Unfortunately they are neither healthy nor long lived. And they dont eat toasted cheese.) There you are! They would be if they ate it. Anyhow, say what you like, provided the moral is a Welsh rabbit for my supper.

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