Porter Monologue from Macbeth

From Macbeth by William Shakespeare

male · comedic · 1:11 min

Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock; and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things. (MACDUFF: What three things does drink especially provoke?) Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. Therefore much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and giving him the lie, leaves him. (MACDUFF: I believe drink gave thee the lie last night.) That it did, sir, i’ the very throat on me; but I requited him for his lie; and (I think) being too strong for him, though he took up my legs sometime, yet I made a shift to cast him.

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