Mitchener Monologue from Press Cuttings

From Press Cuttings by Bernard Shaw

male · sarcastic · 1:12 min

Balsquith: prepare to hear the worst. (BALSQUITH: Sandstone is no more?) On the contrary, he is particularly lively. He has softened Mrs. Banger by a proposal of marriage in which he appears to be perfectly in earnest. He says he has met his ideal at last, a really soldierly woman. She will sit on his head for the rest of his life; and the British Army is now to all intents and purposes commanded by Mrs. Banger. When I remonstrated with Sandstone she positively shouted "Right-about-face. March" at me in the most offensive tone. If she hadnt been a woman I should have punched her head. I precious nearly punched Sandstone's. The horrors of martial law administered by Mrs. Banger are too terrible to be faced. I demand civil rights for the army. THE ORDERLY (chuckling). Wot oh, General! Wot oh!

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