Collins Monologue from Getting Married

From Getting Married by Bernard Shaw

male · comedic · 57 sec

Why should you give yourself the trouble, maam? Send for the greengrocer, maam: thats the secret of easy housekeeping. Bless you, it's his business. It pays him and you, let alone the pleasure in a house like this (Mrs Bridgenorth bows in acknowledgment of the compliment). They joke about the greengrocer, just as they joke about the mother-in-law. But they cant get on without both. (MRS BRIDGENORTH: What a bond between us, Collins!) Bless you, maam, theres all sorts of bonds between all sorts of people. You are a very affable lady, maam, for a Bishop's lady. I have known Bishop's ladies that would fairly provoke you to up and cheek them; but nobody would ever forget himself and his place with you, maam.

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