Monologue

Captain Shotover Monologue from Heartbreak House

From Heartbreak House by Bernard Shaw

male · sarcastic · 47 sec

Money? (ELLIE: Yes.) Well, one turns the cheek: the other kisses it. One provides the cash: the other spends it. (ELLIE: Who will have the best of the bargain, I wonder?) You. These fellows live in an office all day. You will have to put up with him from dinner to breakfast; but you will both be asleep most of that time. All day you will be quit of him; and you will be shopping with his money. If that is too much for you, marry a seafaring man: you will be bothered with him only three weeks in the year, perhaps.

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