Apo Monologue from Monsieur De Pourceaugnac

From Monsieur De Pourceaugnac by Molière

male · comedic · 1:13 min

It is not because we are great friends that I speak so of him; but it is a pleasure to be his patient, and I had rather die by his medicines than be cured with those of another. For, whatever may happen, we know for certain that things are always in due order; and should we die under his care, our heirs have nothing to reproach us with. (ERA: A great comfort to a dead man.) Certainly; it is pleasant to have died according to rules. Moreover, he is not one of those doctors who let a disease off. He is an expeditious man--expeditious, Sir, who likes to clear off his patients; and when they are to die, the thing is done in no time. (ERA: There is, to be sure, nothing like going through the business quickly.) Indeed, what is the use of haggling over the matter, and beating so long about the bush? One should know offhand the long and short of an illness.

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