Monologue

Svietlovidoff Monologue from Swan Song

From Swan Song by Anton Chekhov

male · contemplative · 2:30 min

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When I first went on the stage, in the first glow of passionate youth, I remember a woman loved me for my acting. She was beautiful, graceful as a poplar, young, innocent, pure, and radiant as a summer dawn. Her smile could charm away the darkest night. I remember, I stood before her once, as I am now standing before you. She had never seemed so lovely to me as she did then, and she spoke to me so with her eyes--such a look! I shall never forget it, no, not even in the grave; so tender, so soft, so deep, so bright and young! Enraptured, intoxicated, I fell on my knees before her, I begged for my happiness, and she said: “Give up the stage!” Give up the stage! Do you understand? She could love an actor, but marry him--never! I was acting that day, I remember--I had a foolish, clown’s part, and as I acted, I felt my eyes being opened; I saw that the worship of the art I had held so sacred was a delusion and an empty dream; that I was a slave, a fool, the plaything of the idleness of strangers. I understood my audience at last, and since that day I have not believed in their applause, or in their wreathes, or in their enthusiasm. Yes, Nikitushka! The people applaud me, they buy my photograph, but I am a stranger to them. They don’t know me, I am as the dirt beneath their feet. They are willing enough to meet me... but allow a daughter or a sister to marry me, an outcast, never! I have no faith in them, (sinks onto the stool) no faith in them.

About this piece

Svietlovidoff reflects on his past experiences as an actor and the emotional distance he feels from both his audience and the possibility of love, revealing his inner turmoil and disillusionment with his life choices.

40s · melancholy · identity · love · isolation · art

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