Clara Monologue from Egmont

From Egmont by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

female · anguished · 1:14 min

I am curious; and, besides--do not be angry, Mother--his presence pains me. I never know how I ought to behave towards him. I have done him a wrong, and it goes to my very heart to see how deeply he feels it. Well, it can't be helped now! (Mother: He is such a true-hearted fellow!) I cannot help it, I must treat him kindly. Often without a thought, I return the gentle, loving pressure of his hand. I reproach myself that I am deceiving him, that I am nourishing in his heart a vain hope. I am in a sad plight! God knows, I do not willingly deceive him. I do not wish him to hope, yet I cannot let him despair! (Mother: That is not as it should be.) I liked him once, and in my soul I like him still I could have married him; yet I believe I was never really in love with him.

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