Monologue

Androcles Monologue from Androcles and the Lion

From Androcles and the Lion by George Bernard Shaw

male · comedic · 2:28 min

Don’t you come near my wife, do you hear? . Meggy: run. Run for your life. If I take my eye off him, its all up. . Oh, he’s lame, poor old chap! He’s got a thorn in his paw. A frightfully big thorn. Oh, poor old man! Did um get an awful thorn into um’s tootsums wootsums? Has it made um too sick to eat a nice little Christian man for um’s breakfast? Oh, a nice little Christian man will get um’s thorn out for um; and then um shall eat the nice Christian man and the nice Christian man’s nice big tender wifey pifey. . Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, now um is not to bite and not to scratch, not even if it hurts a very, very little. Now make velvet paws. That’s right. . Steadeee! Oh, did the nasty cruel little Christian man hurt the sore paw? . Well, one more little pull and it will be all over. Just one little, little, leetle pull; and then um will live happily ever after. . Oh, mustn’t frighten um’s good kind doctor, um’s affectionate nursey. That didn’t hurt at all: not a bit. Just one more. Just to show how the brave big lion can bear pain, not like the little crybaby Christian man. Oopsh! . That’s it! . Now it’s out. Now lick um’s paw to take away the nasty inflammation. See? . Clever little liony-piony! Understands um’s dear old friend Andy Wandy. . Yes, kissums Andy Wandy. Velvet paws! Velvet paws! . That’s right. .

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