Toupee Monologue from The Politician Out-Witted

From The Politician Out-Witted by Samuel Low

male · comedic · 1:06 min

Pardonnez moy, monsieur. I hope it not be any intrusion; par dieu, I will not frize dat Jantemon à la mode Paris no more, becase he vas fronte me. (TRUEMAN: What's the matter, Mr. Toupee?) I vill tella your honare of the fracas. I vas vait on monsieur a--choses, and make ma compliment avec beaucoup de grace, ven monsieur vas read de news papier; so I say, is your honare ready for be dress? De great man say, "No--, d--n de barbare." (In a low voice.) I tell de parsone, sare, I have promise 'pon honare for dress one great man vat is belong to de Congress, 'bout dis time, sans manquer: De ansare vas (excuse moy, monsieur), "go to h-ll, if you be please; I must read 'bout de Constitution." Dis is de ole affair, monsieur, en verité.

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