Thief Monologue from A Social Satire

From A Social Satire by Frank G. Tompkins

male · sarcastic · 1:18 min

No neighbors to call. Nearest one a block away, and he isn't at home. That comes of living in a fashionable suburb. Don't believe you can afford it, either. WON'T you sit down, madame? I can't till you do. Well, then I shall have to stand, and I've been on my feet all day. It's hardly considerate. I don't talk so well on my feet, either. It will take me much longer this way. Thank you, that's better. I knew I could appeal to your better nature. Have a cigarette? And you, madame? Clara. Thank you, I don't care to smoke—with a thief.

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