Pendragon Monologue from She Would Be a Soldier; Or, The Plains of Chippewa

From She Would Be a Soldier; Or, The Plains of Chippewa by M. M. (Mordecai Manuel) Noah

male · sarcastic · 50 sec

Oh, curse such roads! My bones are making their way out of their sockets--such vile, abominable, detestable--Waiter!--If my friends at Castle Joram only knew the excruciating fatigues which I am undergoing in this barbarous land--Why, waiter!--or if his highness the commander-in-chief was only sensible of my great sacrifices to--Why, waiter! where the devil are you? (Enter WAITER.) (WAITER: Here I be, sir.) Why didn't you come when I first called? Do you think I've got lungs like a hunter? I'm fatigued and hungry. Get me an anchovy, a toast, and a bottle of old port. (WAITER: A what, sir? an ancho--) Yes, sir, an anchovy--small ones--delicate.

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