And then he comes home and has to hunt for his slippers--Mary has pushed them under the bureau. Well, perhaps it is not right to be making fun of one's own husband. He's pretty good for all that--a real dear little hubby, that's what he is. You should have such a husband--what are you laughing at? Can't you tell? Then, you see, I know he is faithful. Yes, I know, for he has told me himself--what in the world makes you giggle like that? That nasty Betty tried to get him away from me while I was on the road. Can you think of anything more infamous? But I'd have scratched the eyes out of her face, that's what I'd have done, if I had been at home when she tried it. I'm glad Bob told me all about it, so I didn't have to hear it first from somebody else. And, just think of it, Betty was not the only one! I don't know why it is, but all women seem to be crazy after my husband. It must be because they imagine his government position gives him something to say about the engagements. Perhaps you've tried it yourself--you may have set your traps for him, too? Yes, I don't trust you very far--but I know he never cared for you--and then I have been thinking you rather had a grudge against him.

Mrs X Monologue from WHERE BUT IN AMERICA

Rehearse Mrs X's monologue