From Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act by T. Edgar (Thomas Edgar) Pemberton

What a heartless ruffian! How easily he takes it all, and how little he feels for me! How different are our lots! He goes to America: I have to remain here--here, in this awful house, with this dread mystery locked up in a cupboard. If anything happens, it is he who is guilty, and not I; and yet I dare not interfere with his departure, for my only chance depends upon his safe return with the antidote. And how am I to pass the time until he does return? What schemes must I not invent to Emily and the servants to account for the prolonged absence of Mrs. Watmuff! How am I to explain away the continually locked cupboard? There can be no earthly chance for me. Mrs. Watmuff will be missed--will be searched for--will be found--and long before that wretched nephew of mine returns with her restorative, she will be in her grave, and I shall have been hung as her murderer. As these and a thousand other horrible results of my mad act rush through my disordered mind, my brain is on fire, and I feel that I am going mad. One chance, and one only, remains to me. Ferdinand may find the remedy at his hotel: if so, he and my poor wronged wife will want a warm bath. Thank goodness, there is one thing that I can do. I will go and see that the water is hot. ((Exit.) MR. WATMUFF, door R.) (MRS. WATMUFF appears at door of cupboard.)

Mr W Monologue from Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act

Rehearse Mr W's monologue