From Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act by T. Edgar (Thomas Edgar) Pemberton

That's a remarkably sanguine young man; but, then, he's at the sanguine time of life. I was sanguine myself once--remarkably sanguine; and then I married Mrs. Watmuff--or, rather, I should say, she married me. I believe that there is a ceremony which, in polite language, is termed asking the dearly-beloved object of your affections "the momentous question," and in vulgar parlance is called "popping the question." I may honestly say that I neither popped nor momented. Looking back on a long vista of years, I cannot for the life of me remember any period when I was engaged; I only remember being free, and being--well--married. Marriages, they say, are made in Heaven. I don't want to be irreverent, but sometimes I can't help wishing that Heaven had left me, as the charity cards say, "totally unprovided for." But my provision approaches. ((Enter.) MRS. WATMUFF, door L.)

Mr W Monologue from Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act

Rehearse Mr W's monologue