From The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome

Precisely. I stopped the cab and went in. I mingled with the godless throng. I even sacrificed myself so far as to speak to one or two of them. (THEODORE TRAVERS: Ladies?) They may have been. I stood them drinks--if that be the correct expression. Not to excite suspicion, I even sipped a little here and there myself. I endeavoured to acquire the spirit of the place. (THEODORE TRAVERS: From all accounts, you did so to a pretty considerable extent.) It was necessary to my purpose. I went from bar to bar accumulating material. The case was almost complete. Thinking I had had enough--done enough for one evening, I was about to leave when somebody--who said he was a friend of mine--suggested that we should go "behind the scenes." He introduced me to a not unprepossessing young woman, whom he described as the "Female Hercules." I was on the point of putting a few questions to her, when all of a sudden a strange feeling of dizziness came over me. To save myself from falling, I flung out my arms--as any man might have done--and caught hold of the thing nearest to me. Unfortunately, it was the Hercules lady. Mistaking my action, she took me up, and, before I could explain matters, carried me out, and deposited me in the main transept.

Mr Ben Dixon Monologue from The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts

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