From Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act by T. Edgar (Thomas Edgar) Pemberton

Damme, sir, don't you understand that as the proprietor of the patent I couldn't safely show any one how to bring me to life again? There's only one man could do it, and that's the American inventor; and he's such a devilish grasping fellow that when he hears I've brought the thing over here without consulting him, he'd be capable of keeping me suspended indefinitely. (MR. W: Then how do you mean to proceed?) Oh! look out for a felon. England is the best field for that sort of thing, and that's why I came over here. I'm not going to ask any more private individuals. I'm sick of it, and won't give myself the pain of receiving any more refusals. I confess I've buoyed myself up with the hope that I should find a felon in my own family, which would make things easy and pleasant for me. Is there one, uncle? I said good-by to a lot of cousins who promised well in that direction. (MR. W: No, Ferdinand, there isn't one.) Hard lines, because there must be one soon.

Ferdinand Swift Monologue from Freezing a Mother-in-Law; or, Suspended Animation: A farce in one act

Rehearse Ferdinand Swift's monologue