There you yourself provide the demonstration,-- A good old Norse one, sound, true-born, home-bred. You draw distinction between wedded pledges And those of Love: your Logic's without flaw. They are distinguished just as roast from raw, As hothouse bloom from wilding of the hedges! Love is with us a science and an art; It long ago since ceased to animate the heart. Love is with us a trade, a special line Of business, with its union, code and sign; It is a guild of married folks and plighted, Past-masters with apprentices united; For they cohere compact as jelly-fishes, A singing-club their single want and wish is-- (GULDSTAD: And a gazette!) A good suggestion, yes! We too must have our organ in the press, Like ladies, athletes, boys, and devotees. Don't ask the price at present, if you please. There I'll parade each amatory fetter That John and Thomas to our town unites, There publish every pink and perfumed letter That William to his tender Jane indites; There you shall read, among "Distressing Scenes"-- Instead of murders and burnt crinolines, The broken matches that the week's afforded; There under "goods for sale" you'll find what firms Will furnish cast-off rings on easy terms; There double, treble births will be recorded; No wedding, but our rallying rub-a-dub Shall drum to the performance all the club; No suit rejected, but we'll set it down, In letters large, with other news of weight Thus: "Amor-Moloch, we regret to state, Has claimed another victim in our town." You'll see, we'll catch subscribers: once in sight Of the propitious season when they bite, By way of throwing them the bait they'll brook I'll stick a nice young man upon my hook. Yes, you will see me battle for our cause, With tiger's, nay with editorial, claws Rending them-- (GULDSTAD: And the paper's name will be--?) Amor's Norse Chronicle of Archery. STIVER (going nearer). You're not in earnest, you will never stake Your name and fame for such a fancy's sake!

Falk Monologue from Love's Comedy

Rehearse Falk's monologue