Clown Monologue from Twelfth Night

From Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

male · comedic · 1:16 min

Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be said, an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say, a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Enter Sir Toby and Maria. (SIR TOBY: Jove bless thee, Master Parson.) Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, ‘That that is, is’: so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for what is ‘that’ but ‘that’? and ‘is’ but ‘is’? (SIR TOBY: To him, Sir Topas.) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!

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