From The Lady of Pleasure A Comedie, as It Was Acted by Her Majesties Servants, at the Private House in Drury Lane by James Shirley

They are things not worth my character, nor mention Of any cleane breath, so lost in honesty They cannot satisfie for wrongs enough, Though they should steale out of the world at Tiburne. (Lit: We are hang'd already.) Yet I will talke a little to the pilchards, You two that have not twixt you both the hundred Part of a soule, course woollen witted fellowes, Without a nap, with bodies made for burdens, You that are onely stuffings for apparrell As you were made but engines for your Taylors To frame their clothes upon, and get them custome; Vntill men see you moove, yet, then you dare not Out of your guilt of being the ignobler beast But give a horse the wall, whom you excell Onely in dancing of the brawles, because The horse was not taught the French way, your two faces, One fat like Christmas, tother leane like Candlemas, And Prologue to a Lent, both bound together Would figure Ianus, and doe many cures On Agues and the greene disease by frighting, But neither can with all the characters And conjuring circles charme a woman, though Sha'd fourescore yeares upon her, and but one Tooth in her head, to love, or thinke well of you; And I were miserable, to be at cost To court such a complexion, as your malice Did impudently insinuate, but I waste time And staine my breath in talking to such tadpoles. Goe home and wash your tongues in Barly water, Drinke cleane Tobacco, be not hot i'th mouth, And you may scape the Beadle; so I leave you To shame and your owne garters. Sir I must Entreate you for my honour doe not pennance em, They are not worth your anger, how I shall Acquit your Ladies silence. (Bo: Madam, I Am sorry to suspect, and dare revenge.) No cause of mine. Bor. It must become me to attend you home.

Cel Monologue from The Lady of Pleasure A Comedie, as It Was Acted by Her Majesties Servants, at the Private House in Drury Lane

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