Sir, I repeat it--if I please you in this affair, 'tis all I desire. Not that I think a woman the worse for being handsome; but, sir, if you please to recollect, you before hinted something about a hump or two, one eye, and a few more graces of that kind--now, without being very nice, I own I should rather choose a wife of mine to have the usual number of limbs, and a limited quantity of back: and though one eye may be very agreeable, yet as the prejudice has always run in favour of two, I would not wish to affect a singularity in that article. Sir ANTHONY What a phlegmatic sot it is! Why, sirrah, you're an anchorite!--a vile, insensible stock. You a soldier!--you're a walking block, fit only to dust the company's regimentals on! Odds life! I have a great mind to marry the girl myself!

Absolute Monologue from The Rivals

Rehearse Absolute's monologue